


I want the entire street out of town just so I can be alone with you

by Stinacat



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Protect Ryan Haywood, Relationship(s), Self-Esteem Issues, i love, turnfreewood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-28 17:23:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10141403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stinacat/pseuds/Stinacat
Summary: October 2016I Adore You





	

Ryan’s surprised that he actually quite likes the bar that the others have picked to spend the evening in. It’s not full of his normal gripes where it comes to places that provide beverages of the alcoholic variety; people aren’t too rowdy, he can actually hear Geoff and Michael having a good natured argument from across the table, and his customary ‘I’ll have one drink because we’re travelling’ actually tasted quite nice – it could turn into two, although Meg isn’t around to egg him on. There’s some kind of blues playlist on and the bar seems to have a bit of a NOLA vibe to it (which makes sense because Geoff chose it).

His phone buzzes against the table and he flips it over to read the message. Meg’s name in his phone is ‘Meg ‘your best friend’ Turney – he’s not sure when she changed it but it makes him huff a laugh to himself. She’s sent a picture of her and her mom in the dimly lit theatre about to watch the show they got tickets for (he thinks it was Wicked but doesn’t remember). The message underneath just reads; ‘hope you guys have a great night; look after Gavino for me! <3’. That’s enough to make Ryan chuckle to himself, the thought of him ever being able to look after Gavin when he’s been drinking, never mind that she knows he’ll try anyway.

“Ryan, what’s funny Ryan?” Gavin asks while he kicks Ryan’s shin under the table. He’s already had a couple of drinks and there’s a silly grin on his face as he does it; the one he gets when he’s going out of his way to goad Ryan into a reaction.

He slides his phone across to the younger man, wry smile on his face. Gavin starts giggling at the message, one of his long fingers reaching out to touch the picture, just barely. “She’s lovely.”

Something feels like it gets stuck in Ryan’s throat at the soft tone of Gavin’s voice, but there’s something else in the younger man’s voice too, around the softness. It’s almost sad. “She is bud.” Ryan nudges his foot under the table. “You okay?” It feels…intimate almost, the two of them having a conversation like they’re on their own, even if they’re surrounded by their friends and everyone else in the bar.

An expression that’s like half a grimace crosses Gavin’s face. “Just…It’s been weird. Lately. You probably already know. She likes talking to you.” He’s still mostly looking down at the table, twirling the straw in his drink pensively, but his eyes flicker up to glance at Ryan through his eyelashes, caught on the edge of scared. “Not that that’s a bad thing.”

Ryan feels like he’s watching Gavin circle down into overthinking so he flashes him a smile, the widest he can muster. “It’s not easy, both of you travelling so much. Must be weird, that’s it’s been Meg travelling more than you lately.” What he wants to say – but won’t (can’t, even) – is that he understands. He misses her too. Just not in a way he can exactly put into words. It’s like the absence of something that’s not quite vital but pretty close to it.

In other words, a perfectly reasonable way to miss a good friend.

-

He feels like he’s maybe – definitely – lost control of the ‘look after Gavin’ situation.

The thing is, Gavin doesn’t drink much now that he’s not living with Geoff, and Ryan rarely drinks point blank, so he’s at least E3 level tipsy himself and Gavin is alternately giggling with a sloppy grin on his face and dancing with Griffon (and more memorably Geoff). Ryan’s never seen Gavin dance, and ultimately that’s the tip-off that it’s all – probably - gotten a bit out of hand.

Michael and Lindsay follow not long after Jack and Caiti leave, Michael with a faux-solemn look on his face and a heavy clap on Ryan’s shoulder, telling him good luck before they weave out of the little dive-bar.

Geoff slides into the booth across from Ryan, a little out of breath and already sucking down a fresh drink. He gets the sly little expression on his face that he gets when he’s drinking and about to talk about something he knows he shouldn’t, and Ryan kind of wants to slam his own head against the table; he can _see_ it coming by now. “Hey, Ryan-”

Because all of the best things in his life have started with ‘hey, Ryan’, he just sighs and raises an eyebrow. “No, Geoff.”

Far from looking put off, Geoff smirks wider. “I hear you’re under orders to look after Gavin tonight.”

Ryan rolls his eyes. “An offhand line in a text message does not equal ‘under orders’, Geoff.”

“Maybe not coming from anyone else…but-“ Geoff stops when Ryan finishes the rest of his diet coke and puts the glass down on the table a little harder than he originally intended.

“It’s not funny when nobody else is around, Geoff.” His voice is a bit harder than he means it to be too – it could be because he’s had a little more than he normally would to drink (and that idea makes him panic, a little. He has his reasons.), or that it’s a particularly sore spot after talking to Gavin earlier. “…They miss each other right now.” Ryan says, by way of some kind of explanation.

Geoff’s expression softens a bit. “And you.”

“What are you-” Ryan never gets to find out what exactly Geoff means, because Gavin and Griffon come barrelling back towards the table. Its reflex that makes Ryan reach out and stop Gavin from pitching forward into the table, his hand curling around the younger man’s arm.

“Thanks Rye-bread.”

Ryan looks up at Gavin, where he’s almost swaying on his feet, empty glass fisted in the hand that’s not using Ryan to hold himself (mostly) upright. “I think it’s time for you to go to bed.”

Gavin pulls a face – several actually, ranging from not impressed to grudging acceptance to relief – and they manage to make it outside and into an Uber with only one comment from Geoff that Griffon swiftly elbows him in the ribs for, a strange look on her face before she kisses first Gavin and then Ryan on the cheek. Ryan tries not to think about it too much.

The cool night air has gotten rid of most of the rest of the fog around Ryan’s brain, and he’s expecting the ride to be filled with nine million inane but no less Gavin questions. (Definitely isn’t looking forward to it in a strange way).

He’s really not expecting Gavin to burrow up against his shoulder and sigh. Ryan just blinks, more than a little dumbfounded. He jostles his younger friend a little, to get his attention. Gavin’s hazel eyes are wide and sleepy when he shifts to look up at Ryan. “You okay bud?”

Gavin tosses him a lazy smile. “’Course Ry.”

“What…what are you doing then?”

A very put upon sigh answers him, but Gavin doesn’t move from his shoulder. If anything, he puts more of his weight on Ryan. “Sleeping Ryan. Stop moving, pillows don’t move.”

Ryan isn’t sure when it became his life to have Gavin trying to sleep on him in the back of some strangers car weaving through New York City at 1am, but after contemplating the reality that he may in fact be in the middle of a very odd dream he comes to the conclusion that it is. He catches the Uber driver (who has said nothing but the usual pleasantries so far – Hi, how are you, you’re a long way from home) sneaking glances at them in the rear view mirror, a small smile around the corners of his mouth, framed with the salt and pepper goatee.

He isn’t generally one to blush, but Ryan can feel a little bit of heat in his cheeks and the car feels unseasonably warm all of a sudden. He knows what it must look like; Gavin is handsy at the best of times and drunk Gavin is on some next level, if the fact that he’s using Ryan as a human pillow is any indication. Gavin doesn’t even usually touch Meg so much in public because he doesn’t like the idea of excessive PDA’s (Meg doesn’t mind, though if Ryan’s brain would like to stop reminding him that he knows things like that he’d be grateful).

They pull up outside the modern looking pod hotel on 51st and Ryan shakes Gavin gently. “Wake up Gav, we’re here.”

Gavin cracks one bleary eye open – Ryan had known he could sleep on planes easily, didn’t think he’d fully fallen asleep – and huffs. “Why?”

He laughs before he realises he’s doing it, and starts trying to pull Gavin out of the car. “Get out, come on.”

The driver chuckles to himself a little and wishes them good night as he pulls away. Gavin sways a little on the sidewalk and Ryan raises an eyebrow, halfway concerned. “You alright?”

“I’m just…tired, Ryan.” The faraway sad look crosses his face again. “I’m so tired.”

He’s not sure what the actual trigger is that makes him reach out and pull Gavin in close. And he feels so slight against Ryan, like he could slip away. Maybe it’s just that he looks like he needed a hug, someone to remind him that’s he’s still here.

There’s _something_ in his tired eyes when Ryan pulls away to hold him at arm’s length. Ryan, predictably, gets a little defensive, irrationally scared for a moment that Geoff’s about to pop out from around a corner or something, just to say I told you so. “What?” He asks, slight edge to his voice that he can’t make disappear. He’s always carefully kept his distance (although, then Meg happened) and he thinks he could very happily call Gavin a friend now, never mind all of the others on top of that.

Gavin gives him a small, if a little reassuring, smile. “Thanks, lovely Ryan.”

The strange feeling from earlier comes back. Like they’re in a bubble and separate from all of the big city noise around them. It’s not like Austin; there’s a background hum there that’s different to the dim roar of New York. An eternity could pass and Ryan’s not sure he’d notice. And he’s still not entirely sure why.

Gavin sighs all of a sudden, and the bubble doesn’t burst so much as it just fades away gently. “Don’t suppose I’ll sleep much, anyway.” They start walking into the pristine lobby of the hotel, the lights only slightly dimmed now that it’s just gone midnight.

Ryan raises an eyebrow, leaning against the wall as they call the lift. “Why not?”

His younger friend shrugs, scrubs the toe of one scuffed converse against the polished concrete floor. They’re the ones Meg got him – for a birthday or Christmas or just because Ryan doesn’t remember, just knows she showed them to him with a wide smile on her face. “Just don’t, a lot. Recently.”

They step into the lift and Ryan watches Gavin in the mirror on the back wall. If there’s one thing he knows, it’s not sleeping. Especially recently. “It would be too easy to just be able to switch your brain off, right?”

Gavin hums in reply and it’s infuriating to Ryan that he can’t work out exactly what the look on Gavin’s face is. It’s a little timid again, under his lashes and through his hair. He looks very young, and Ryan feels practically ancient in comparison. Everything is still a little off-balance.

They get to the floor where they’re all staying (Ryan knows his room is 2 doors down from Gavin – Meg had mentioned it when she’d spent the night before) and Gavin strides out onto the black carpet. He swings around to lean against the door to his room and look at Ryan. “Are you not sleeping either?”

Ryan shrugs, a hand brushing through his hair ruefully. “I mean…It’s not great. But I’ve never been much of a sleeper so…it is what it is.”

Gavin scratches absent-mindedly at his cheek, through the beard that Meg is so fond of, and chews on his lip (Ryan wants to say nervously, but that would be ridiculous). “Do you wanna watch Cosmos?”

It comes so out of nowhere that Ryan just blinks at Gavin for a second. “Do I…what?”

He’d swear a hint of colour comes to Gavin’s cheeks and he starts to turn away. “Nevermind, I-”

Ryan grabs his arm without thinking about it, hand heavy on Gavin’s slim wrist. “No! I just…wasn’t expecting an invitation.” He tries to steer it back to ground that they know; jokes and a showy voice (a bit of an eyebrow).

Sure enough, Gavin giggles a little. “Ryan!” He says in the tone of voice he gets when he’s specifically pretending to be outraged. He unlocks the door and steps inside, looking at Ryan expectantly (hopefully?).

Raising an eyebrow, Ryan looks inside the small room faux-suspiciously. “You got me drinks, are you trying to take advantage of me?” He steps forward anyway, fixing a smirk on his face.

Gavin pokes him in the side (it reminds Ryan of Meg very suddenly, of early morning call times and that fucking garish couch, touching not for any reason, just because) and shuts the door behind him. “You wish _Ry_ an.” He toes off his shoes and throws down his wallet on the side table, before falling back on the bed. “I just thought…might as well have company, right? I’m rubbish at sleeping right now.” He turns his head (very deliberately) away from Ryan and looks out the window. “Company is nice.”

Ultimately that’s what makes Ryan kick his own shoes off and settle (with a very careful amount of distance) on the opposite side of the bed. He nudges the TV remote towards Gavin. They start from the beginning, and before he even realises it’s happening Ryan’s eyelids begin to feel heavy, the voice from the TV comfortingly familiar. Gavin stopped asking questions in a low murmur after about half an hour, and his breathing is deep and even.

Ryan thinks he hears the door open, but he’s mostly asleep.

-

Meg wars with herself once the show is finished. She has the happy buzz of just having enjoyed music and a good story for two hours. She should go back to her own hotel and get a decent nights sleep because god knows New York Comic Con isn’t going to take it easy on her. But she could go back to Gavin’s and spend the night wrapped up in him like they’re on holiday or something and not both in New York for business that has nothing to do with the other. When she turns her phone back on, as she follows the familiar shape of her mother leaving the theatre, there are two conversations waiting for her.

She opens Ryan’s first – it’s a picture of Gavin dancing with Geoff in the bar he’d been telling her about, and Meg grins. The caption reads ‘I’m about to intervene don’t worry’ and the warmth starting in her chest spreads a little further.

Gavin’s messages have a video – it’s Ryan drinking what she assumes is alcohol, because there’s raucous cheering happening and the message that accompanies it says ‘your mate’ (she laughs out loud at that) – and then ‘going to head back. Love you Turney’.

The looks her mom gives her when she explains quickly that she’s going to get a taxi to Gavin’s hotel is wry (like she knew) but she kisses her and only asks that Meg stay safe and message her when she gets there.

By the time Meg gets to the (kitschy, Gavin doesn’t like it, Ryan doesn’t either) hotel, she’s bone tired and worn out. She shoulders her backpack after she gets out the spare key card to Gavin’s room that he’d given her and yawns hugely in the lift up to his floor. As she opens the door quietly (she hopes he’s asleep, he’s been so exhausted lately) she realises there’s noise coming from the TV.

And that Gavin isn’t alone.

Except, it isn’t dread that fills her, she feels warm all over again because Gavin and Ryan are both sound asleep, Cosmos is about 3 episodes in on the tv, and she can see where they’ve wormed closer to one another from the dips in the pillows where they started. Ryan’s on his back, one arm behind his head and the other one slipping off his stomach, shirt riding up where he’s moved and jeans slung low on his hips. Gavin’s curled up on his side like he’d tossed and turned and finally gotten comfortable facing Ryan, his hair just brushing the other man’s arm.

Meg sends off a quick message to her mom – ‘here safe, will be back early tomorrow to get ready’ – and dithers about a bit. She takes a picture of them while she has her phone out and it never crosses her mind to use it as blackmail, she just wants it to remember. She desperately wants to avoid waking them up, because she knows how tired they both must be, but she needs to shower and get changed.

On a whim she flips open Ryan’s wallet and sees his key card, room number two doors down and slips it out. He won’t mind, she’s only going to shower in there. And then she’ll come back to the problem of how to get in bed without waking them up. If worst comes to worst she’ll stay in Ryan’s room, they can joke about how he and Gavin ‘slept together’ and left her no choice, and that will be that.

(but the space in between them looked so inviting).

-

Ryan actually feels well rested when he wakes up. It’s warm and he’s a little disoriented – it takes him a minute to remember ‘New York, show tonight, hotel room’. And then with a start, _Gavin_.

He hadn’t meant to fall asleep.

It was just….it had been comfortable. Relaxing, Gavin asking questions and Ryan answering in hushed tones, both of them tired from travel and going out.

Something tickles Ryan’s arm and he looks down.

He’s not sure what he was expecting, but the shock of dark brown hair isn’t it. He also doesn’t think he’s ever woken up so quickly in his life because what the fuck is going on. It’s grey dawn light seeping in through a crack in the curtains covering the tiny window, Meg is curled up against his chest, and Gavin is wrapped around her back.

Every fibre of Ryan’s being is telling him to run. To leave before they wake up and it gets weird and he simultaneously ruins two of the best friendships he’s had in his life. But the same thing that’s telling him to run (fight or flight, he supposes belatedly) has him paralysed in fear.

-

It’s not the first time Gavin’s woken up with Meg’s hair in his face (it happens a lot at home, if he’s managed to cling on to her either through the night or find her again after she’s moved around the entire bed and come back to him). It won’t be the last.

It’s the first time Ryan’s been there.

He blinks awake fully and it takes a (very long) moment to realise that that isn’t normal. It takes him a pause and a quick check to realise that he doesn’t really mind (likes it, even. Or could.). When he looks up at the other man, Ryan looks like he’s trying to make himself move, or figure out how to without waking up Meg. His chest is rising and falling too fast and Gavin throws caution to the wind (maybe he’s too tired to bother being scared about it).

“Ryan.” He hisses, over Meg’s head.

“I didn’t mean to…”

Gavin rolls his eyes. “It’s okay, you pleb. Don’t worry.” There’s something almost adorable (Gavin makes himself sick sometimes) about the way Ryan’s brow furrows in confusion; still not all the way awake, definitely not sure of himself.

“I don’t…I don’t understand.” He confesses, very quietly. Something in his eyes is searching in Gavin’s, and he knows that Ryan isn’t just talking about this.

Gavin sighs and shifts up in the bed a little, still trying his hardest not to wake Meg. Now that he can see Ryan properly, he feels a little weak at the knees (or he imagined he would, if he was standing). His eyes seem even bluer in the gray light and his hair is tousled from sleep, falling over his forehead like the way he’s seen Meg mess it up a couple of times, when she’s been daring enough to. He looks very young. “This probably isn’t the best time for this conversation.” Gavin confesses. “It wasn’t my intention when we got back last night. I genuinely wanted to just…relax.” He says carefully. He’d die if Ryan thought he had ulterior motives.

Ryan nods, but his nervous gulp is audible.

Gavin props his head up on the arm not snaked around Meg’s middle. He realises with a start that he can feel Ryan’s stomach against his hand and it makes him a little giddy. Gavin looks at Ryan very closely, and then runs his thumb very slowly over the warm skin there, where his shirt has ridden up through the night. Ryan jumps a little, looking at him searchingly.

Gavin feels exposed but also like he’s started it now. It wouldn’t be fair to leave it like that. “We…we wanted to talk to you but we’ve been so busy and…well, all over the place, literally.” He huffs a little laugh and sees the corner of Ryan’s mouth twitch. Gavin isn’t sure why he doesn’t feel nervous. “I’m sorry, I don’t want to bollocks this up.”

“It would help if I knew what _this_ is.” Ryan isn’t accusatory, it’s more of a wry observation, and he’s looking at Gavin through his hair (which makes it a lot less threatening). He almost looks like he’s holding his breath.

Gavin looks at him and thinks about all of the things he likes about Ryan. The list has only grown, really. He’s attractive, obviously, but it’s the dumb little _Ryan_ things he likes the most. Entertaining his hypotheticals, caring in his slightly awkward way, the little lines around his eyes when he grins. The flubs and the excuses that follow them. Gavin’s chest feels warm, deep behind his heart and seeping out until he feels full of it.

“We like you, Ryan; we just wanted to sit down and have a proper conversation with you about it when we were all at home for a second. Probably take you out to dinner and see how you felt. But none of us have had time to breathe and it’s been a little bit crazy.”

Ryan’s eyes had snapped down to Meg, where she’s talking into his chest and nuzzling against the soft cotton of his shirt, and then they track back to Gavin, like it’s a joke they’re playing.

Gavin’s mouth is hanging open, and it’s all he can do to let out a weak “Oi!” of protest. He’d been _trying_. Meg worms a foot in between his legs in some show of comfort.

“Sorry, I was trying to sleep and you were gonna give me a heart attack. And probably give Ryan a heart attack too.” She pulls back a little to look up at Ryan. “If it helps we weren’t expecting anything, and you don’t have to make a decision anytime soon. The ball’s in your court, we just wanted to get it out there, because…I mean, you know. Kinda love your dumb face.”

-

Ryan feels like he can’t breathe. Not in a panicky way but in a disbelief kind of way. It’s all he can do to stare between Meg and Gavin, incredulous that this has somehow become his life. He’s trying very hard to ignore how comfortable it is, being in bed with them.

“I mean…both of you?”

Meg looks tired but no less bright where she’s looking up at him. Hopeful. “It’s not that weird in this day and age is it? Also we do live in Austin.”

He has to give that to her. But it’s not really the configuration he’s having trouble with (the fact that it didn’t even occur to him probably tells him exactly what he needs to know). It’s that they’re them. Gavin and Meg are…these gorgeous talented people. They’re so _young_. Gavin is so clever, in his own way, and lithe and like a cat, and Meg is quick-witted and fucking intimidatingly attractive.

“Why me?” It comes out in a rush and then several things happen at once.

Meg sits up (and she’s wearing his shirt which really isn’t fair because he can’t think straight) and looks at him like he’s just said the most offensive thing she’s ever heard. Gavin squawks, partly because Meg accidentally sets him off balance, but he also looks like he can’t believe what just came out of Ryan’s mouth.

“Are you fucking serious right now?”

She sounds legitimately mad and Ryan doesn’t really understand. “I mean…I was but now you look mad, so…”

“Can you put aside your shocking sense of self-worth for the five seconds it will take to realise that we have discussed this and we both really like you? Actually fuck it. I love you to bits Ry and if you’ll have us I want to show you for like…a long time.” Meg’s hair is tousled and she still looks tired but her eyes are impossibly deep and soft. “Maybe long enough for you to believe it.” She thinks for a moment. “And then some.”

His throat feels tight and he doesn’t trust himself to speak. It’s already a lot to take in but she sounds so earnest. Ryan looks at Gavin. Gavin who had been so shy when they met but who’d let him in slowly. Gavin who cares about people the best way he knows (and that way is somehow so perfect). “How long?” He manages to eek out, trying to keep his voice steady.

Gavin scrubs behind his ear self-consciously. “A…a while.” Meg throws him a look over her shoulder (Ryan doesn’t need to see it, he knows it’s her ‘you aren’t telling the truth’ look). “Like a month after you started, I don’t know...it just…the time was never right and. I was scared.”

Meg squeezes Gavin’s arm and Ryan isn’t even sure his heart’s still beating in his chest. The thought of the three of them hadn’t even occurred to him in a gauzy daydream kind of way, but now that it’s a very real possibility – fuck it’s practically being offered up to him on a plate – Ryan just isn’t sure he deserves it.

He doesn’t realise he’s said it out loud until Meg’s kneeling in front of him and her hands are cool on either side of his face. Gavin’s sitting up in the bed and he looks at Ryan with something deep and sad in his familiar eyes. “

“Like I said. You don’t have to make a decision now, or even very soon. But you know where we stand. At the very least that we care about you. And quite frankly I’m about ready to go hunting for whoever made you feel the way you do about yourself.”

“Can I come?” Gavin pipes up.

That’s what breaks the heavy air that fell over them in the tiny room. Ryan starts laughing, and then Meg joins in (after she leans in to kiss Ryan on the forehead and he can feel blush racing down from his cheeks to his chest)

It doesn’t feel weird, it just feels like some things have finally clicked into place.


End file.
